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The Future, Today!

“TWITTER” I heard a random nobody shout at me as I walked down the street last night. The man was arrested by a fully able (and grand-mustached) police officer within minutes, then I had him shot. You see, the future ain’t all that great. Back in the day we sent letters to each other, sometimes even cards. That’s how fashionable people communicated. We had notte this twittybird nonsense. To show the highly intellectual readers of this paper, I’ve added a Twitter aparatus right at the top. Top right. Right.

Back in the day..

Look at 'em go!

Don’t mention you read this example of treachery to your many wives, they may follow your footsteps and before you know it – you’re watching her give birth to your best friends child.  Why are you watching her? You should be out there killing a guy or three. Blast twitter into a shack.

But wait!” you cry out, “twitter can’t be the only thing on the internet!” – right you are, right you are. When your boat leaks, you gotta fix it one way or another. That’s why I started a “webbe”site about fixing boats Thinking for a man twice my wit, I appropriately represent the website as a boat in need of fixing too. A crew of highly trained superiors work night and day. They’re instructing many lesser men to complete this task at a set time, or they die.  Another news report will be in once that’s dealt with.

Hopefully by then you haven’t killed your best friend yet!! Keep on sailing.

~J. Warrington Pillar B.

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